I used to believe this, that loving someone and truly caring meant you stayed and made sure they knew you were there for them no matter what, that through the good and bad right? Well what I didn’t realize was that you have to set a limit somewhere. I gave and gave and reassured them that whether they were having a hard time, weren’t speaking to me, or whatever was going on, I was still there for them and cared, thinking that there was a “other side” to come out of…but it never came, in fact it seemed to push them further into their depression of feeling like trash because they couldn’t return the feeling…finally I had to just stop, and let them go, for myself and them. I could tell my mental health and self worth was suffering, that they respected me less and less the more I allowed myself to be hurt by them…even sending me a song one day about staying with someone who lets you hurt them : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjmBLCbTgDo
That song hurt quite a bit, at first I was like “YES! I will let you, because I care about you and want us to come out of this for the better!” then as I thought about it, I realized that they were saying that they liked having someone there no matter what, be able to treat them however they felt at any time, and rely on me staying…and that made them feel even worse, plus because they really couldn’t process it, they just never brought it up except in little hints and splitting. The mental tanglement for me was the worst, I learned to not expect closure or an apology, but I stopped giving to this person because I had to realize that my happiness was more important than trying to rekindle a happiness with someone who won’t return the effort. Most people who are in for a mutually respectful and caring relationship would never let things get to the limit that I have now set for giving without return now, so maybe now I can meet that person who deserves my heart.
